On Letting Go

So, as I mentioned yesterday, some big changes are on the horizon for me. I seem to have found a sublet (fingers crossed!), I found an excellent gym option in my new neighborhood and with the money I'll be saving I think I can pay off another credit card. Score!

Yet, with all the positive changes come some bittersweet ones. One thing I failed to consider is that not everyone in your life will react to the coming changes the way you want them to. Hopefully most of your friends and family will be supportive and excited for the new life changes you are making. But I'm sure each of us has one person in their life that feels threatened by change and reacts in a less than positive manner. In my case, I am a dealing with a friend who is choosing to make some negative comments in a very public forum about the upcoming changes in my life as well as the lives of other friends. It's a difficult situation. This friend is struggling with her own issues and I truly believe that her comments are coming from a place of fear and insecurity rather than genuine ill-will.

But, at what point do you let go? I made a decision a long time ago that there will be no more room in my life for negative influences. Sure, some of them you can't avoid. There will always be a cranky person on the Metro who will be rude or an annoying coworker you can't avoid. Those are the people you just need to deal with. But I spent so much of my twenties being scared and insecure and negative. I finally decided that my thirties would be a time of change (sense a them yet?); a time when I would stop concentrating on hating myself and my body and all the bad decisions I made and focus on being strong, healthy, beautiful and happy. It has not been easy at all. Every day is a struggle and my biggest enemy is myself. And really, when you spend so much time battling yourself so you need to battle someone else, too?

So I decided to let go. It's hard and I feel terribly guilty. But I also know that if I am going to be my strongest, healthiest, happiest self I can't let negative influences hold me back. I truly hope that my friend can find her way back to her happy self again. When that happens I will be ready to rekindle a wonderful friendship. But until that day I will be focusing on making my life the best that it can be.

Changes

Wow. The past two weeks have brought a lot of changes. For starters, the boy and I have decided to move in together. Furthermore, we are going to live in his condo that has been on the market since January but no one wants to buy. So, in the span of one conversation I went from renter to homeowner. That also means new neighborhood, new gym, new running routes and new routines. Oh, and I still have that 10 K to train for in the middle of all this and I haven't even started. Sigh. It's going to be a crazy 6 weeks.

Return and Refocus

Yeah, so hi. It's been a while. I know. I didn't mean to disappear for 4 months but stuff happened: weddings (not mine), warm weather, hot weather, "heat domes", debt ceilings, work going crazy, special someones to hang out with, allergies, vacation and a whole tapeworm incident (again, not mine) that is best never spoken of again.

Here is what didn't happen: running, training, eating healthy, sleeping much, losing weight.

But it's okay. It's been a great summer so far. Fun. Exciting. Lots of laughter and ice cream and time spent with friends.

Then I realized that I signed up for a 10K in October and I could probably count the number of times I've run since my 5K on one hand. My 5K in March which is also the last post I wrote. Oops.

So, I'm out of race shape and the scale hasn't budged and I should probably do something about that pretty soon.

So, here are some new things that happened: I bought new running shoes. I sold the car. I bought a new vegetarian cookbook. I returned to Weight Watchers. I went on three treadmill runs (slow, hot, painful).

And finally, I signed up for this. Lord help me.

Done!

My very first 5 k is done! It was COLD in D.C. this morning but the sun was out and I made it through. I was fortunate to have my friend Aline to run with. We both finished in under 45 minutes which was my goal for this race.

Now I am desperately trying to warm up. Hot coffee and homemade veggie pizza (with tempeh "sausage" - yum!) seem to be helping. I plan on spending the rest of my day curled up the couch with hot tea and movies. Tomorrow will be a yoga day instead of running day but now that's it's officially spring the weather should be warming up and I can get more out door runs in. Stay tuned for the next race!

Do Over?

Ugh, today I had the WORST run. My 5K is this Sunday and I hate to lose a training day but today I threw in the towel. I had a great run on Monday and anticipated that today would be just as great. I hopped on the treadmill and as soon as the run started I knew something was off. I've been having a tiny bit of soreness and tiredness but it usually wears off within the first few minutes. This time my hip hurt and my legs felt heavy and I was already breathing hard and I just wasn't feeling it. So, instead of pushing myself I decided to stop only 12 minutes in. I didn't want to run the risk of getting hurt. I know 3.1 miles is no big whoop to most people but it is for me.

So, I decided to give up on my run 12 minutes in and tried the bike instead. I have not been good about cross training at all AND I know I need new sneakers but have been putting it off until the first race is over. But even on the bike my legs felt heavy and kind of achey. So, I gave up after about 6 minutes and just decided to stretch and have a healthy dinner instead. I'm hoping that I can get a do-over tomorrow morning with better results.

Lesson Learned

The Sprinkles truck paid a visit over by my office today and gave out 400 free cupcakes. They sold out in about an hour so I was lucky to get one. They are delicious and sugary and after eating one I didn't want an afternoon snack. Turns out that a cupcake is not a good pre-run snack. Flash forward about 3 hours and I hit a major wall with about 10 minutes left in the run. There was almost an incident. It reminded me of how I felt back in college when I thought it would be a great idea to roll out of bed and go straight to my 8AM swim class with no food or water and almost passed out in the showers afterward. Lesson learned: eat a proper healthy snack before working out. Always.

But, I survived and managed to make it through all of my run anyway even if it was a little erratic at the end. I've gone from being the girl huffing and puffing and dying after running for just 2 minutes to the girl who can run for almost 30 straight minutes without a break in just 6 short weeks. Imagine what I will be able to do in another 6 weeks!

And, I found another race to run! I found via my neighborhood blog that there is a Dead Man's Run 5K through the historic Congressional Cemetery. All proceeds go to the Cemetery's preservation society. It's the week before the Capitol Hill Classic 10K so it should be a good, fun practice run. I'm really excited about it!

Reality Check

Registration for the Marine Corps Marathon opened yesterday and closed today with all 30,000 spots full. I will not be one of the 30,000.

What happened? Well, a couple of things. Let's discuss.

The main issue is that I psyched myself out. I had been questioning for a while now whether or not this was such a good idea. For a beginning runner to attempt a 5K, a 10K, a 10 miler, a half and a full marathon in one calendar year? I know it can be done; I just don't know if I am being realistic about what I can safely and reasonably accomplish. My 5K is in three weeks and I am not where I think I should be with my training. Right now, I am doing 2 miles in 40 minutes on a treadmill. At this pace it's going to take me a full hour to run a 5K. It used to take me 30 minutes to walk the 1 and 3/4 miles to work. My pace is no where near where it needs to be to finish the marathon without being removed from the course and I'm not sure that 7 and 1/2 months is enough time for a first time runner to reach that point.

The second issue is money. It's a $90+ entry fee and I just don't have that kind of money right now. I sort of forgot about that part. Living on my own is fabulous and I don't ever want to live with roomates again (you know, unless I'm married to the roomate!) but it is expensive! Especially with the looming threat of a government shutdown that means this girl doesn't get paid for a while. (Dear Federal Gvernment: Please don't shut down. I don't want to be evicted because you stopped paying me and I can't make rent. Thank you. Love, Chelsea)

Now, that doesn't mean that I won't maybe possibly change my mind when the entry transfer period opens but we'll see.

But, if you have been paying attention, you remember that I am trying to be flexible and accepting of change and kinder to myself. SO! I am not getting all depressed and angry about this. I'm not giving up. I am simply re-evaluating my goals. I am running my very first 5K on March 20. The Capitol Hill Classic 10K is May 15 and it is conveniently located in my neighborhood. And, since I am missing the MCM, I am DEFINITELY running the Army 10 Miler in October. That's 3 out of my 5 races. That's more than half. More than half is...well, more than half. I will have completed most of my goal and the rest will just be rescheduled to 2012. Plus, I am going to run the Race for the Cure 5K in June and I figure that at that point I should have this running thing down. Four races in one year for a former couch potato is nothing to be ashamed of.

As for next year, I WILL be one of the 30,000 running the 37th MCM in 2012. In addition, I think I have a few girlfriends willing to run the Disney Princess Half Marathon (it looks like so much fun!). I will totally run the Scope It Out 5K , Cap Hill Classic and Army 10 Miler again. Hm, wait a minute. I do believe that is every race I wanted to run THIS year. So, I will accomplish my goals! Just in a slightly longer time frame. So, I'm not giving up. I'm just giving myself a reality check.